moon light chaser

I sometimes don't think about I don't have a job. This is not a holiday but this is a time for me to store the energy to use it later. Every time I think about this, I feel so satisfied. What the other people see me is sometimes different. They see me as I'm a worried-free fella with no sense of how to lead a life. Of course I do have a sense of how to lead my life. It's just that I live my life happily.

This is what I learnt from the hospital. When I was in hospital. I had a chance to meet with all kind of people. They do have psychosis but they are gentle, kind and better than normal people. They talked back to you nicely when you go and introduce yourself.

Even though they are violent sometimes. It's not all the time. They don't know themselves they are violent when they are. When they are violent they are tied to the bed with the clothes in order to punish them or let the other people know that someone who are violent will be punished like this.

I saw many warm and kind hearts in the hospital. They helped the hospital staffs, they went and talked to someone if he was down, they asked each other what type of psychosis a person have and they guided and helped through if the person symptoms and the symptoms they have been through is similar.

Sometimes you can see bipolar patients group with bipolar and schizophernia patients group with schizoperhina patients. They helped each other through out.

The person who helped me was Sam. I changed his name because he has his own life. He has a wife and a kid. Sometimes he said he's 41 , sometimes he said he's 50. But, to me he looks like 41. He's a kind person. He went and talked to person if he see the first time the person came to a ward. Sometimes he rubbed the person's back and talk very softly. What me and Sam did in the hospital is that we talked a lot. And sometimes we browsed through women magazine(the only type of magazine available there) and we praised about how the women's hair look, how nice the shoe is, how to match the clothes we saw there with his wife and so on. From there I learnt how to appreciate the beauty of people.

When I recovered and discharged from the hospital, I saw him sad. He said he wants to get discharge like me, he wants to dye his hair(I was the one who tell him to do so), he wants to take care of his little boy who is a lone in his home. From there I learnt that even a person is down with psychosis, love is never change, it keeps on flowing.